In The Begining

Relish the Gentlemen : Our Man about Mayfair
Sir Basil Seal

Previously...

One day...

One day I hung up the telephone after some telephonic communication with Mrs. P. I had come up with, if I do say so myself, a brilliant idea for wasting time and resources. I might add that I happen to be quite good at wasting t and r but anyway...My idea was to host what I liked to call a "flying weekend", where I would invite the various and sundry folks involved with PP to my house, well to the house I live in since it actually belongs to the Countess, and we would spend a weekend drinking, playing, tripping the light fantastic, and did I mention drinking? And it would be a "flying weekend" because I would take those who were brave enough or drunk enough if bravery is not their thing, up in my little Tiger Moth, which is a bi-plane, don't you know. Let's see, we would have the Ps, and small p's of course and The Fiendish Lout had expressed willingness and Father M., who unknown to him was my "ace in the hole" was an enthusiastic supporter. Mrs. P was planning on bringing her friend Charlotte and h. and as always Lord St. John would be lurking about the place as well. Well, yes I knew you would all agree to the brilliance of my plan and now the only thing left was for me to get permission for said plan from the Countess. She, of course has always been the proverbial putty in my hands, so I made an appointment to see her and when I was admitted to her study the next week I began to outline my plan:

"My dear Countess" I said...

"Nein, no, you vill forget about it"

"But my dear Countess, I wanted to tell you about a little thing I was planning..."

"Nein und abermals nein...That would mean no..."

"Well, my Dear, it is just a few friends for a weekend..."

"Which will mean you and silly St. John running about playing with the Tiger Lily and with myself looking after your guests, who will be camped in front of the liquor cabinet no doubt...And I am sure St. John will insist on bringing one of those horrid women of his, I have no idea which trailer park he is getting them out of...Maybe if he would opt for more teeth along with more clothing it would not be so bad...I can't imagine that sweet Mrs. P would want to spend the weekend with all of you silly people....The answer is No"

"My Dear it is a Tiger Moth, and that will not be the case I assure you, and..."

"NO"

(At this point dear reader I am sure you are shouting that my flanks are in the air and I must fall back immediately while I can still save the guns. I know you are, but wait a bit, old Basil is an old campaigner and knows what he's doing...Told you I had an ace in the hole...Whites of their eyes and all that, what?)

"Well my darling Countess, as you say, I will give Father M. a call and rescind the invitation...I better get cracking..." Turning to go of course.

"Wait, do you mean that The Father EEM has agreed to come for this flying thing"?

"Why, yes, he was very keen on coming, he wanted to see the school and..." (She is the Governor of The Academy of the Sacred Heart, a local Catholic Prep school for young ladies. Actually she owns it, which is why she's the Governor.)

"Well, why did you not say so? Now, go away I will be busy planning this all out. It must be extra special for Dear Father EEM...I will call Mrs. P immediately and begin preparations. Let's see...There will be the motorcade from the airport and bishop's dinner, must call the bishop immediately, select an entourage from the school, schedule tour and welcome festivities...Oh it will be splendid...Father EEM here...Who would believe it...Go away, I will have it all worked out very soon...Let's see now, the menus will have to be done and the guest rooms prepared...

I had already sauntered down the hall..."Hey St. John, old chap, we're on!"