There's John Edwards' Other America, Bill Clinton's America, the late Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan's America and then there's the latest entry, Andrew Cusack's America. In Andrew Cusack's America, everyone is elderly, except for Andrew, and sipping gin and tonics and sitting on rocking chairs on the porches of Greek Revival farmhouses overlooking the Hudson River reading the New Criterion and waiting for the liveried minibus with Andrew's crest on the doors to pick them up for Mass.
Anyway, here's a quiz from Jamie McMorrin. He's Vatican City. I'm France. Mr. P is Ireland. It was the poetry/art question that landed him there. He's happy and having oatmeal for breakfast. I'm having cafe au lait and a piece of baguette.
Madame P.
Feeding the Cardinal's mistrust of me, I turned out to be THE UNITED NATIONS!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I went back and tried to change my answers but I cannot honestly answer them any other way. Perhaps this is why I am so self-destructive--I don't believe that I should exist.
Speaking of the UN, I am going to be in New York City this weekend. Anything fun going on?
Posted by: Misspent | August 17, 2005 at 09:13 AM
Now everyone wants to take an uptown bus with Steve M. and Andrew Cusack. Actually, I'm sure they'll be delighted to take you to Mass.
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | August 17, 2005 at 09:30 AM
No Mass, thank you.
Posted by: Misspent | August 17, 2005 at 09:54 AM
Exactly--Mass at St. Agnes, located on 43rd Street between Lexington and Third. Sunday at 11 PM is the Traditional Latin Mass, with a 12:30 PM Mass in English.
Posted by: Steve M. | August 17, 2005 at 09:55 AM
Followed by a Viking funeral for Misspent in the Turtle Pond. You can have a kayak fedexed from L.L.Bean. Stuff it full of M80's and bottle rockets and strap the comatose Misspent on (the incense knocked him out)and toss a lit match, and send him off to the Great Firery Lutheran Beyond. I'll be happy to fedex a hamper of appropriate comestibles to watch "the happening".
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | August 17, 2005 at 10:06 AM
The friend I am visiting is going to drag me to her mega-church, Presbyterian or something like that. She is a big fan and supposedly the dude we are seeing in concert on Sunday night sometimes attends.
Posted by: Misspent | August 17, 2005 at 10:28 AM
Alas, that megachurch could use one of those Lebowski bumper stickers: "The Dude Is Not In."
By the (puzzling) way, I, too, turned out to be La belle France. At least the test does not establish which era, so I will opt for something pre-revolutionary. Speaking of revolutions, you must have had one on your hands by the time you got to point six in your Maureen Dowd post. Or, while you typed, were the little Ps pacified in some manner...perhaps by Marupa sharing her new cache of coconut rum?
Posted by: Steve M. | August 17, 2005 at 11:41 AM
The Vatican.
Posted by: Quicquid | August 17, 2005 at 12:07 PM
I'm Turkey. The Card is France. Now excuse me while I go put on my headdress.
Posted by: Mrs. C | August 17, 2005 at 07:43 PM
South Africa. Where is my pith helmet?
Posted by: Mark C. N. Sullivan | August 21, 2005 at 09:56 AM
Irish Elk, we saw your remains at the Peabody Museum. Why are you shoved in the corner? You're such a noble-looking set of bones.
I hope the new job is going well and the commute -yikes!
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | August 21, 2005 at 08:22 PM
The United Nations, what utter rot! I was severely disappointed in the quality of most of the options however, and am convinced as to the uselessness of this quiz. My country is New York anyhow.
And Mrs. P, make those Dutch Revival farmhouses! Leave the Greek Revival to those heathen deists down the street.
Posted by: Andrew Cusack | August 21, 2005 at 08:57 PM
Truth time; the first time I took this quiz I came out as the U. N., then South Africa, then the U.K. and then France. The Cardinal was first Egypt, then Zimbabwe, then something else and finally France.
Mr. Cusack, are you aware that Dutch Apple pie is the Cardinal's favorite? He'd probably like a thick slice of it daily on the Dutch Revival porch with his wine (he doesn't drink gin unless forced by necessity -nothing else being available on the drinks tray) in your America.
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | August 21, 2005 at 09:58 PM