Last night I was laying in bed examining my newest Evelyn Waugh that my Mr. P has given me; Black Mischief. Mr. P was tucked in along side all snuggly and reading his new Dorothy Sayers's translation of The Divine Comedy. Aren't we just the thrilling couple? I was too tired to actually start Black Mischief, so I was just enjoying the cover illustration -it is a particularly good one, rummaging through the odd page or two and absorbing what others had to say about the book. Time magazine, a rag that is harder to take seriously than anything Lord Copper might have put out, had this little blurb on the back cover:
A hilarious and still timely tale of emerging Africa and declining England.
Given the events that occured yesterday in Virginia, that blurb made me chuckle deep down inside. You see, I've been fed that line, minus the hilarious part, loads of times before. And it was always an Episcopal bishop from somewhere that did the feeding. In fact, I can still recall the first time I heard it and how much hope, at the time, I had placed on it. Apparently, at a Lambeth Conference some 25 years ago, the bishops had all gotten their pointy hats in a twist over something that pertained only to America and England -basically Mecca and mini-Mecca as far as Anglican provinces go in terms of dollars, prestige and power for the entire Anglican Communion. The Anglican Communion is made up of 37 provinces but only two matter; Mecca and mini-Mecca. Since the men of the pointy hats that hail from Mecca and mini-Mecca tend to be drama queens and not prone to fisitcuffs, the channels of communications had broken down over whatever pertained to their provinces and resulted in no one speaking to each other. More importantly, they weren't praying together at Evening Vespers and we can't have that can we? In the old manly days, a difficulty like this would have been quickly solved by a good left punch to the jaw of the most offensive bish or, better yet, by ex-communication followed up with drawing and quartering. But these men in pointy hats are new men who have transcended war and are men of peace now. So it took the African primates standing up and humiliating them all by telling them the truth. The truth being that the entire Lambeth Conference had been devoted to the problems of America and England but Africa is the future of the Anglican Communion as they are the only Anglicans that didn't fall for the birth control mumbo-jumbo between married people shoved through Lambeth in 1930. Then, the bish that was relating this tale, went on to say that the African provinces are the fruits of all the missionarys of the 1800's and that the Africans are more authentically Anglican than either America or England now. I was absolutely enthralled.
It wasn't soon after hearing about the African Anglicans that that I decided Mr. P and I needed to dump the Episcopal Church of the United States and become African Anglicans. Eventually, I found some like-minded Episcopalians, who it turns out were on the island next door to my family in Maine as well on our own island, and before you knew it my mother was fielding calls for me from Bishop so and so. That made her knees goes wobbly and caused my stock to rise dramatically in the family as she said at the time, "Not even your grandmother ever got a bishop to call her. She had to place all her own calls." My stock has never been so high as it was just a few years later when my mother was introduced, by my bishop friend, to an African Primate of the Anglican Church. Archbishop Peter Akinola said upon making her acquaintance, "Oh yes, I know all about your daughter...". The gnashing of teeth and renting of garments by my sisters that day was audible here in Michigan, but I digress...
Well, as you all know the end of this most unfascinating tale, Mr. P and I did not become African Anglicans, we became something much worse; Roman Catholics. I say much worse because the liberal Episcopalians, to use the words of Evelyn Waugh, believe the African Anglicans have been up to 'black mischief' here in their province. The African Anglicans have been the only ones trying to prevent the wheels coming off the bus of the Episcopal Church in terms of the gates of hell prevailing mumbo-jumbo that is in the bible. The liberal Episcopalians don't put much stock in what the bible says and the Anglican Africans do. As a result, many thoughtful Episcopalians have defected from The Episcopal Church and are now African Anglicans. (My mother still has a foot in each camp but more of her money goes to Africa than to 815, the Episcopal Church's headquarters) As each year goes by, more and more money and Episcopalians set sail for Africa. The liberals in the wheelhouse of the Episcopal Church are none too pleased with this or the likes of Archbishop Peter Akinola and his fellow African primates. After the last Lambeth Conference, the retiring Bishop Spong granted an interview to Andrew Carey, the son of the former Archbishop of Canterbury, where he had this to say of his fellow African Anglicans:
Africans, said Spong, had "moved out of animism into a very superstitious kind of Christianity." They had not "faced the intellectual revolution" of the West or the discoveries of Copernicus and Einstein.
The Africans, understandably, were furious. "He is really looking down on us," fumed a Ugandan bishop. "I am portrayed as someone who does not know Scripture or doctrine."
"If they feel patronized, that's too bad," replied Spong. "I'm not going to cease being a twentieth-century person for fear of offending somebody in the Third World."
Earlier this summer, the Rev. Susan Russell, president of Integrity continuing on the trail blazed by Bishop Spong vented some of her frustration at the continued medddling of the African Primates in her province by playing around with photoshop. It goes without saying that if a conservative had done something so horribly offensive to Africans, they would have been thrown out of the Episcopal Church. Perhaps even drawn and quartered. But as anyone who is anyone in the Episcopal Church understands, the rules for gays and lesbians are different.
So, back to yesterday and Virginia. Yesterday in Virginia, two very historic and incredibly wealthy Episcopal Churches pulled out of The Episcopal Church. They are now African Anglicans. We at Patum Peperium wish they had come to Rome. But if not Rome, then Africa. Besides, you can always get to Rome via Africa....
With all of this African Anglican mischief in mind, I am very much looking forward to reading Waugh's Black Mischief. Thumbing through it last night, I came across a very funny passage:
Later Basil went round to see Angela Lyne, and Sonia as she undressed said to Alastair, "D'you know deep down in my heart I've got a tiny fear that Basil is going to turn serious on us too."
The reason I find that so funny is because these days I often field calls from the Card's Wife saying the same thing about our own Wing Commander, Sir Basil Seal. After saying it, she starts yelling at me to stop whatever it is I'm doing to him because he'll go away. And she wants her art.
Absolutely hilarious stuff this Waugh thing...
Mrs. P
(I highly recommend reading the link marked 'interview' as it will provide you with all the important details I've left out.)
SPONG - Anglican nightmare.
http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/john_shelby_spong_anglican_nightmare
Posted by: mandingo | November 17, 2006 at 11:04 AM
If you think Spong is bad, we need to also enjoy the theological stylings of the Quakers, Unitarians (now openly allowing wiccan lesbians), and the church ladies at the National Council of Churches.
Posted by: mandingo | November 17, 2006 at 11:14 AM
There is, in fact, an Anglican Use Rite within the Catholic Church. Here is one parish that follows it: http://www.walsingham-church.org/
I fully expect that teams of lawyers will descend upon the two parishes in Virginia that just "went out," demanding the vestries turn the keys over to the Diocese of Virginia and barring the priests who led them out from setting a foot on Church property, and that Diocese's PR machine will soon shower all sorts of abuse--HOMOPHOBES! RIGHT-WING FANATICS!--on to the parishoners. As my pals in the Sea Services say, "Stand by for heavy rolls."
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | November 17, 2006 at 12:18 PM
I have much to say about all of this but unfortunately Little Bertie and I have been summoned to play at the castle....limestone...circa 2004....
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | November 17, 2006 at 12:31 PM
Me, serious? You can't be serious?
Posted by: Wg Cdr Sir Basil Seal, KG GCB GBE MC JP | November 17, 2006 at 03:43 PM
No, you're right. I can't be serious...
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | November 17, 2006 at 03:52 PM
Mrs. P, please ask Card's wife to instead yell at you in the comment boxes so we can get the full flavor of these exchanges. On behalf of you vast audience, I likewise request that, whenever you yell back, you do so in the fine public forum you and Mr. P have created for us.
Posted by: Fiendish | November 17, 2006 at 03:54 PM
I don't yell. Seriously. Drives her nuts too...
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | November 17, 2006 at 03:58 PM
Ok, on a serious note, seriously, Mandingo, listen up. Now all of those people you mentioned are not worth the time of day. Spong is a very sick man. The thing about sick people is that they can make people around them sick. So leave Spong to the professionals. If you feel the need to do something for him in terms of Christian charity, send him some asbestos boxers. He may not thank you now, but he will thank you someday...
Old Dominion, I think those parishes need to fasten down anything that's loose...
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | November 17, 2006 at 04:13 PM