The title of this post has been borrowed heavily (lifted actually) from H.H.Munro's short story, When William Came. When William Came is about life in London, circa 1914, under the Hohenzollerns rule. A very good read but it will not make you giggle.
In Attention Comrades, the soon-to-be-wedded, Mr. James Poulos had this to say about the commie beer, Tsingtao:
Tsingtao is a fine beer, and drinking it while banned is my favorite way to unwind. I'm James Poulos, and I approved this message.
It is rare to find me in disagreement with Mr. Poulos. Simply because I'm not intelligent enough to disagree with him. In this case, although Communism goes against every Jacobin urge in my blood, I do agree with Mr. Poulos' accessement that Tsingtao is a fine beer. I just don't drink it. Over the years I have found that I enjoy my beer more if some canny robber baron with a magnificiently-crafted carbon footprint is making as much profit as possible off of my enjoyment. Siince the profits of my purchase of Tsingtao goes into the government coffers of one-baby-only Red China, guess what? My enjoyment of quaffing the ocassional Tsingtao or two is heavily diminshed. But I'm not a smug liberal who enjoys going without to be better than all those around them. I am a smug conservative who understands that like reality, history is my friend and did some homework. And because I did the homework well, I can now enjoy my Tsingtao with the confidence of knowing someone, somewhere, will most definitely turn a profit. How do you do this? You quaff Tsingtao under one of its other labels: Sapporo or Kirin.
Let the explaining begin.
The immediate cause of the Boxer Rebellion was Germany's seizure of Kiaochow Bay and the city of Tsingtao in Shantung Province on the Yellow Sea. The Kaiser, icthing to acquire a naval station and trading port on the China coast, had used the pretext of the murder of two German missionaries in 1897 to wrench ninety-nine-year lease on these territories. Whith Prussian thoroughness, German administrators began to transform the province into an island of Germany-in-Asia. Tsingtao became a city of German architecture, with clean, orderly streets and a German brewery which produced the best beer in Asia. Signs directed the peasants (most of whom could not even read Chinese) to obey German laws and regulations...
-Dreadnought by Robert K. Massie
So the guy mentally twisted by his gimp arm, which was a result of his family's long-held tradition of sleeping with their Hohenzollern cousins, Kaiser Wilhelm II, pulled a fast one and established a seaport in China to aid his desire being the first Hohezollern gimp-armed Emperor of the world. Because Germans need beer to survive, the Kaiser's little bijou spot along the Chinese seashore established a brewery in 1903. That would be the same year, the Chinese Commie beer, Tsingtao, today claims they were founded.
Well, I'm a bit sketchy on the history after this, but somehow the Japanese drop-kicked all the sorry Teutonic bottoms out of China and across the Pacific around 1917. They took over control of the Hohezollern Chinese seaside resort town and changed all the road signs to Japanese. They brought in some Japanese brewers to run the brewery. Japan had a nice little run there for about 20 years or until WWII. Then, the Chinese drop-kicked their Asian bottoms over the other side of the Great Wall and took over the Japanese influenced Hohenzollern Chinese resort town and changed all the road signs to Chinese. But they neglected to teach the peasants to read, so in the 50's came the Red China Commies. They did not see the need to drop-kick their fellow countrymen. They just slit throats instead and took over the brewery.
After being handed the kumquat by the Chinese, the Japanese fellas who had learned how to make decent tasting beer from the Hohezollerns, went to work at the two major Japanese breweries of the day: Sapporo and Kirin. Both breweries changed their recipes to be the same recipe as the Hohenzollern Tsingtao recipe. Remember, the East has never admired or appreciated individuality like the West has. They prize uniformity. So, as a result, Tsingtao, Sapporo and Kirin is the same beer under 3 different labels and made in two different countries. Except with the latter two, someone, somewhere instead of a government makes a profit off of it.
In the interest of full disclosure, it seems that William is trying to make a comeback in China. Anheuser Busch, an American brewery started here in St. Louis by a bunch of Hohenzollerns that got lost along the way of Hohenzollern world domination, somehow owns 27% percent of Tsingtao today. So, it is correct to say that if you drink a Tsingtao, someone, somewhere, does make a smidge of a profit. But that would be the Hohenzollerns making the profit. So in the interest protecting yourself, it is wise to always making life uncomfortable for the Hohenzollerns by giving your money and patronage to their enemies : The guys that brought us Pearl Harbor.
Mrs. P
So, if I can distill this post to its essence: you live in Michigan but yet don't exclusively drink Bell's products.
I don't understand.
Posted by: TWM | March 20, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Ohhhh....you are aware of Bell's? Bell's is a very fine product. I do enjoy the ocasional Bell's. Though in the interest of full disclosure, this is my favorite Michigan brewery:
http://www.arcadiabrewingcompany.com/
Angler's and Nut Brown do it for me very nicely. Look for them. They do not disappoint if you are of the mindset that an ale is a meal....
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 20, 2007 at 10:43 AM
Mr. P really enjoys their IPA as his preference in beer does trend towards his Hohenzollern /Nazi heritage...
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 20, 2007 at 10:45 AM
I will look for the Arcadia products around here. And I'm with Mr. P on this one, I like a good IPA. (When Bell's Best Brown can't be had.)
Posted by: TWM | March 20, 2007 at 10:56 AM
Egad! I hope this is as true as it sounds. For a minute there I felt forced to turn to Jack & Vernor's. Though if drinking Tsingtao helped keep the mainland Chinese population under control, it could be the official beverage of Planned Parenthood as well as the Yellow Peril League. Leave it to Robert Massive to set the story straight.
Posted by: James G. Poulos | March 20, 2007 at 11:02 AM
Official beverage of Planned Parenthood....hahahaha
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 20, 2007 at 12:13 PM
Surely the Japs used Zeros and not Messerschmitts?
Posted by: Andrew Cusack | March 20, 2007 at 02:34 PM
Thank you Andrew. I put in the wrong link. The right link undescores the point so much better, don't you think?
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 20, 2007 at 02:46 PM
Strange as it may seem, my wine merchant here in Lexington carries a wide range of Bell's products, to include the stouts and porters as well as Third Coast Ale. I first became acquainted with Bell's when visiting Mrs. Tory's hometurf in Michigan.
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | March 20, 2007 at 04:36 PM
Small world. I had some nuns here for dinner on Sunday and as one of them is from Michigan I got Bell's (Kalamazoo Ale) to serve them...
Posted by: Fr. M. | March 20, 2007 at 05:06 PM
Were they German nuns?
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 20, 2007 at 05:50 PM
Were they Carmelites?
Posted by: Christine | March 20, 2007 at 08:19 PM
Ah! Lexington. It'll be Charlottesville this weekend. Rumored special guest appearances theresabouts.
Posted by: James G. Poulos | March 20, 2007 at 09:28 PM
Franciscans (who have a community in Lowell, MI)
Posted by: Fr. M. | March 20, 2007 at 11:36 PM
Most of them are German with a healthy dose of just about everything else...
Posted by: Fr. M. | March 20, 2007 at 11:37 PM
Mrs. P: Your reference to Saki's "When William Came" reminded me to recommend "Riddle of the Sands" for Mr. Peperium's summer-in-Main reading (if, of course, he has not read it already). Much the same spirit as Saki's work, although without the same elegance of language.
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | March 21, 2007 at 07:45 AM
Oops, sorry. That's "Maine," not "Main."
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | March 21, 2007 at 07:46 AM
I don't know if we are going to Maine this year. Rumour has it our island is going to be the setting for a new chick drama, "Aunts Gone Wild". Mr. P thinks it would be more enjoyable when we head East to turn right at NYC instead of the usual left...
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 21, 2007 at 08:47 AM
If that is the case, Mrs. Peperium, then I suggest you and Mr. P consider spending some time one of two lovely spots--Cape Cod and Bath County, Virginia (just west of the Tories home county of Rockbridge).
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | March 21, 2007 at 09:31 AM
Cape Cod, Lake Champlain due to Mr. P's recent reading and my long held desire of visiting the area and Maryland / Virginia are currently being comtemplated...
Posted by: Mrs. Peperium | March 21, 2007 at 01:46 PM
Ah, Lake Champlain. Excellent choice. I'm sure the Peperiums would greatly enjoy Fort Ticonderoga, site of Montcalm's victory (and a few other actions)and, perhaps, a sidetrip to Saratoga. You could make the trip even more historically interesting by driving across Canada to Montreal and then dropping south along Burgoyne/Carleton/Brock's invasion route.
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | March 21, 2007 at 02:45 PM
Fort Ticonderoga! If my memory is right that battle was won on my birthday. When learning this in grade school I thought it was fantastic. Not only did my birthday correspond to a great victory but it also was as victory that involved pencils!
Posted by: Misspent | March 22, 2007 at 10:49 AM
From my ancestral outlook, Misspent, the *greatest* victory that happened at Fort Ticonderoga happened in 1758 when the French under Montcalm repelled the British.
Posted by: Old Dominion Tory | March 22, 2007 at 11:19 AM