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August 31, 2007

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Mrs. Peperium

Here's one from Mr. P in his best Claude Rains voice:

"The lights, my dear, zey are not flickering."

And then me, employing my best Rowan Atkinson :

"Why something twice the size of the Queen's barge just hoved into view."

Lorraine

"I am excessively attentive to all these things." Lady C. de B.

"Tak it and be thankful." from N.N.

"Never go in with a Sicilian when death is on the line." from The P. B.

(uttered like a French woman trying to sound British)"How can you be so stupid, how can you be so cruel?" J.E.

"I'm so excited it makes me giddy." Mrs. B.

"We're not have hot mush today...we're having cold mush." Miss H.

Old Dominion Tory

A few examples of the phenomenon at Castle Tory:
When told of the price of an expensive item much desired by Mrs. Tory and/or any of the children, I too lean on Claude Rains, "I'm only a poor corrupt official."
When coming up some disarray, I use James Cagney from "Mister Roberts," "Alllllright. Whooooo did it?"
Ordering a child out of my presence, I often use a Warner Brothers cartoon line, "Be gonez vous!"
"Seven Days in May" is a big favorite. Therefore, craven political behavior often is dismissed with General Scott's line, "You're not just a weak sister, Mr. President. You're a criminally weak sister."
Any time it snows here, I go to the window that faces the Blue Ridge, make a sweeping gesture and say, "Look, Sasha! The Urals!"
An over-the-top statement often is greeted by John Cleese's "She turned me into a newt!"

Andrew Cusack

I only recognise three. What gives?

Mrs. Peperium

Ok, everyone, here is something my roommates and I used to do to get ready for dates with Harvard boys. It's called, "doing the Larchmont Lockjaw."

1. While seated, preferably on a twin bed of your adorably decorated early '80's dormitory room with an ocean view but an office cubicle will work, take pencil and grasp between your teeth with your tongue beneath the pencil.


2. Now, make a few words to limber up the old lungs. Carefully note how the pencil and tongue operate.


3. Repeat after me:

"The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower -- suitable to any occasion. I carried them on my wedding day, and now I place them here in memory of something that has died."


Now you will understand why Harvard boys always thought I was off my rocker. What kind of guy wants to date a girl with a pencil stuck in her mouth? Imagine the weddings photos?

Lorraine

I forgot one:

"Elegant but simple, lavish but tasteful."

And then someone calls out...
"Cheap but expensive."

Dawn Eden

"Scallions. You know. Some people call them green onions, but they're really scallions."

Lorraine

"While you're at it, why don't you give me a paper cut and poor lemon juice in it."

Father M.

"Leave the gun. Take the cannolis"

Mr. Peperium

"My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!"

"Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream."

Lorraine

"Come sing low, come sing high;Come change thy name to mine,And you shall eat my capon pie,And drink my Malmsey wine."

Old Dominion Tory

"Hello, Carlo."

The Maximum Leader

"No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on Schnizengruben."

Meg Q

"Sir, don't worry - we're professionals!" (when we have to deal with dubious service personnel)
"For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh in our turn?" (problems with neighbors/hurt pride)
"Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
OR (for irony)
"Ah, happy families are all alike!"
(for "domestic disturbances" shown in the newspaper - we don't have a TV hookup, but that's even *better*)
"I do not think that means what you think it means." (said with proper accent, all-purpose)
"I got flava and all those things ya know"
[ANY variations on the Spanish Inquisition sketch]
"I now call upon the Leader of the Opposition to test me on my Latin vocab." (good if someone's giving you the third degree or treating you like a child)
(In French accent)"I can, order coffee, deal with waiters, make sexy chit-chat with girls - that sort of thing. Just don't ask me to take a physiology class or direct a light opera." (esp. if one of us murders a foreign phrase)
"To him, we are the mental equivalent of domestic science teachers."
"Choose your next witticism carefully; it may be your last."

I'm forgetting many more.

Kind of on the obverse, we have fun taking down bad quotes of Shakespeare - I was an English major and my husband is a Renaissance Eng prof. In that genius way of his, Shakespeare "encoded" quotable bits so that you can't lift them out of their context without destroying them - heh, heh. Because a fellow like, say, Polonius is *definitely* someone you want to go around quoting . . .

Of course, there's always the problem of saying something in your OWN words, that sounds too much like one of the phrases you quote or that is stuck in the brain of the person you're talking to - awkward!

Fr. M.

"Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here!"

"That priest is a vain, ambitious, Roman puppy."

"Sometimes I think back and wish that I had been a simple country priest with just enough theology to hear confessions and just enough Latin to say the Mass."

BillBo

Not as literary as some of the comments above, but my brother and I used to drive our parents nuts by quoting "Peanuts" to each other.

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