...One Recent Afternoon...

Relish the Gentleman: Our Man about Mayfair
Sir Basil Seal

...One recent afternoon...

"Basil? Basil! I know you're listening to me because your knuckles are turning white. So put down the Ambler like a good boy and have your tea."

"Prefer coffee."

"Well, you're having tea today."

"Coffee."

"My dear Sir Basil, drink it or wear it..."

"Prefer coffee."

"I will tell the Countess."

"Alright, I would love some tea."

"Ah, that's what I thought." said Mrs. P as she pours.

"I noticed that the Lord Justice has cleared the Duke of Edinburgh in the death of "she who will not be mentioned in front of Sir Basil" said Mrs. P as she passes him the Minton.

"Damn shame, that."

"What do you mean "shame"? I thought you would be pleased."

"Far from it, I would have much greater respect for His RH if he had detailed Bond to do her in. It's not like the chap has much to do these days."

"Basil!"

"Yes, it would have been so much sweeter, although quite a bit late, if you ask me...He could then be known as "The Duke of Death" and endorse a new line of designer hand guns or something. The possibilities were just endless."

"My Dear Sir Basil, you are quite evil you know."

"Yes, thank you, but keep in mind that I'm not an unfeeling man, just an uncaring one". "Speaking of evil, did you know that I have written the story of our Flying Weekend..."

"That's wonderful!"

"The unedited and uncensored version of the story of our Flying Weekend."

"That's terrible, not to mention probably unwise and immoral in some way."

"Not to worry, I have it all under control...I remember it vividly...Let's see, there was you and me, Mr. P and The Countess, the Baron was corrupting your children, Father M. was busy being feted all over town by the students at the Sacred Heart, for all I know they may have him locked up in a room over there still, I do know they have a shrine to him in their chapel...The Fiendish One was there, I know because I couldn't keep him and Mr. P away from my Cockburn, your friend Charlotte came and I think she had a husband with her but I'm not sure if he was the one that was locked in the garage all night or not, and Lord St. John was there that weekend too, because he kept swearing that the Countess' German relatives were all ex-Nazis and kept mentioning that her Great Aunt had slept with Hitler. How the Countess has put up with old Sin Jen all these years I'll never know...There was the dinner and reception in honor of Father M., you know that guy gets a lot of attention...The white tie midnight festivities and that one lady who had, I must say, immaculate decotellage, Mr. P and I asked her..."

"I believe you better let me have a look first."

"Well, we didn't ask her right off, because the Countess was near, but we were getting ready to..."

"I better look at it first."

"Well, ask Mr. P, she had this strapless thing in black I think, and we were all on the veranda when her...

"Send it to me first."

"Nonsense, we have a broad minded readership, do we not? Besides Irish Elk would be interested in how she...."

"Let's see, where did I put the Countess' phone number?"

"I'll send it to you this afternoon"...

Comments

[The Maximum Leader]

Are you sure that wouldn't be the "Duck of Death?"

[Card's wife]

Mrs. P, does Max Leader look like Basil?

[Mrs. Peperium]

Hmmn...let me see....they're both big...both have dark hair (Basil's, if you recall was once dark when he had it) and they both have big dark eyes..I think Maxy had dark eyes....he has eyes certainly...Maxy does have facial hair though...they both have UK blood....both can shoot to kill though Maxy prefers long guns to Basil's pistol....I did not ask Maxy what kind of car he drives but he did let on he drives it swiftly....I bet, if push came to shove, Maxy could snap your neck like a twig...at the very least, snap it like a branch over his kneee.....

[Card's wife]

What kind of shoes?

[Mrs. Peperium]

Crocs....

Yup.

Robbo had them on too. Apparently crocs are really big in DC...

[Old Dominion Tory]

Crocs? The mind boggles.

[The Maximum Leader]

I drive a Ford product of all things... A 2004 Mercury Maruader.

Mrs P's memory fails... I do not own a pair of crocs... I do own some birkenstock sandles... But no crocs. I don't recall wearing the birks to dinner...

[Card's wife]

So what kind of shoes? I can always judge a man by his shoes.

[The Maximum Leader]

I was wearing some soft leather shoes by some Italian designer. Moscone? Marscapone? Moroni? I'm not sure. I'm not wearing them now. I have some Rockport boat shoes on now.

[OJ]

Bruno Magli's perhaps? I used to have a pair.

[MCNS]

ODT, Crocs are the way to go...