You've Got To Admire A Girl That Speaketh With A Forkethd Carrot.

Madame's Nightshirt

Mrs. Peperium

Back before Gloria Steinem and her hounds of hell sisterhood roamed this earth destroying romance for all of eternity, pretty unmarried Scottish Highland lasses with nicest natural complexions known to men had the most marvelous way of capturing whichever insane and unmarried Highlander they had been keeping their bright and equally insane eyes fixed on. It was a trick they had picked up from the pagans so you know it was not only surefire as far as success goes, it was hot stuff. On the afternoon of Dumhnach Curran, or Carrot Sunday, the Highland lasses headed out to the fields to pick as many carrots their pleated homespun skirts could carry home.  And what each girl hoped to have tucked in the folds of her skirt by the end of the day was a forked carrot.  The forked carrot was safely hidden away until Michaelmas.   Then on Michaelmas then Scottish lasses would dress themselves in their best tartans and bring the forked carrot to the St. Michael's Day feast.  When the dancing began the prized forked carrots would be presented to the kilted lads of the lasses choosing.  And the kilted lads were then free to read as much as they wanted to in the shape of the carrot.  And being insane, they usually read a lot...like fertility, baby....

Thus you have the very old tradition of Carrot Sunday, or the sleepless night of the Highlands.  It was sleepless for two reasons those of Scottish descent readily understand.  Carrot Sunday was the one night of the year horse stealing was legal.  So, if you were a man and did not own a horse, or you wanted to own many more, that was the night you went out and stole them. Custom and Christian ethics did require you to leave one horse in each barn so that the owner still had a means to get himself to church. If you owned all the horseflesh you required, then you stayed up all night making sure no one touched your horseflesh, much less took it.  The women got into the not sleeping act by staying up to make what has to be one of the worst cakes known to man;  Struan Micheil.  Poor St. Michael.  He fought the devil only to honoured by the Scottish with a cake made of barley, oats, and rye, sweetened with honey and blueberries and baked on a griddle. You really have to be mentally unfit to consider that a cake.  Since Highlanders are mentally unfit they not only considered it a cake, but many a Scottish Highland match was made based on the bride's (excellent) ability of baking the Struen Micheil.

When all the Struen Michiel had been baked and all the horses that could be pinched had been pinched dawn was breaking over the Highlands.  It was Michaelmas.  Or the great feast of St. Michael the Archangel.  The day was spent participating in Highland games, horse racing, feasting, dancing and playing hide the carrot.  Oh, and I think at some point they did go to church and give presents to the poor. It is traditional to serve roast lamb or goose on St. Michael's Day.  Also because Michaelmas comes at the end of September, apples are always a part of the celebration.

Because my Highlander blood has been intermixed, thankfully, with some good solid English blood as well as a tad of German and a pinch of Cuban I do not present Mr. P with a forked carrot on Michaelmas.  Nor do I slain him an unblemished ram or  roast him a goose.  His Scottish blood has been watered down by a generous dram of German blood, so he prefers a good apple dessert to celebrate the day. If he really wants to cut loose, he'll don my grandfather's kilt to awake the sleeping insane Highlander within me and down his apple dessert with a Woodchuck cider or two.   This is one of his favorites :

Apple Crostata 

makes two tarts

(for the pastry)

2 cups all-purpose 1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt or sel de mer

1/2 lb very cold unsalted butter, diced

(for the filling)

1 1/2 pounds McIntosh, Macoun, or Empire apples

1/4 teaspoon grated orange zest

1/4 cup all purpose flour

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt or sel de mer

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon ground allspice

4 tablespoons cold unsalted butter (1/2 stick), diced

For the pastry, place flour, sugar, and salt in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Pulse a few times to combine. Add the butter and toss quickly with your fingers to coat each cube of butter with the flour. Be careful, the blades are sharp. Pulse 12 to 15 times, or until the butter is the size of peas. With the motor running, add the 1/4 cup of ice water all at once through the feed tube. Keep hitting the pulse button to combine, but stop the machine before it comes together (this keeps the pastry texture flakey) Turn dough out on to floured pastry board or slab of marble and form into 2 disks. Wrap with plastic and refrigerate for at least one hour. (dough freezes beautifully-so you can freeze one if you like)

Preheat oven to 450. Roll the pastry into an 11-inch circle on lightly floured surface. Transfer it to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

For the filling, peel, core, and quarter the apples. Cut each quarter into 3 chunks. Toss the chunks with the orange zest. Cover the tart dough with the apple chunks, leaving a 1 1/2 inch border.

Combine the flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon, and allspice in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture is crumbly. Pour into a bowl and rub it with your fingers until it starts holding together. Sprinkle evenly on the apples. Gently fold the border over the apples, pleating it to make a circle.

Bake the crostata for 20 to 25 minutes, or until the crust is golden and the apples are tender. Let the tart cool for 5 minutes, then use 2 large spatulas to transfer to a wire rack. 

Patum Peperium shall be posting next on Wednesday September 31.  Enjoy Michaelmas which since 1969 celebrates not only St. Michael the Archangel but the other two Archangels, St. Gabriel and St. Raphael.

  

Comments

[mario mandingo]

I think some of these ancient Scottish practices can land you in jail nowadays...

"Gloria Steinem and her hounds of hell sisterhood roamed this earth destroying romance", indeed, Mrs. P!

Harridans all of them!

You know Cubans are very insane too, in a good way though.

[Mrs. Peperium]

Yeah, those Scottish girls will always land a guy in jail...

[Crackie]

Um, er, I know the world is going a bit wild at the moment. Nevertheless, Mrs. P, I doubt very much that your next posting will be on Wednesday, September 31.