Patum Peperium: What's Missing?

Madame's Nightshirt

Mrs. Peperium

Ok folks, Rule No. 1 with the Obama Administration is do not look where they and their lapdog press are telling you to look. Look around to see what's really going on. This photo of our First Lady is a perfect example. It made the rounds because First Lady wore $500+ sneakers to a charity food bank event. But that's not the reason the photo made the rounds. The photo made the rounds because of what the First Lady is not wearing. Our First Lady has obviously decided to break new ground for First Ladies. As they are wont to say and do in Hollywood, she goes commando.

And it was not the devil who made her do It was this one unfortunate photo of her with Sarah Brown, the wife of England's Prime Minister, that made her do it.

This photo of our First Lady striding confidently across Downing Street caused more speculation in England about what is underneath her skirt than all the speculation about what's not under his :

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To wit:

Because an ungrateful nation once again has ignored my counsel to elect an unmarried childless orphan as its president, we now have more information about Michelle Obama than any American could possibly need to know. Or should want to.

We're still not sure about her underwear, but it's probably only a matter of time. Reporting about the first lady's recent trip to Europe, on which she presumably was accompanied by her husband, New York Daily News columnist Jane Ridley probed previously unexplored areas by writing about Mrs. Obama's undies.

"Forget about the global financial crisis or how the G-20 plans to solve it," Ridley began. "A far more pressing question is occupying great British minds: Does Michelle Obama wear Spanx under her pencil skirts?" (Spanx, for those of you who are fortunate enough never to have seen them in action, are a hybrid of panties and a girdle that would not be the cause of erotic thoughts in the average man.)

The column went on to explain that speculation in London's Daily Mail concerned "a so-called visible panty line across her right thigh a telltale sign that the invisible support system slimming bottom and thighs has miserably failed in its job."

I don't know whether the alleged Spanx failed to do its job; if it did, I'm sure that makes it eligible for a federal bail out. [...]

None of this gushing is the fault of Mrs. Obama. My guess is that she'd prefer to have the stories reflect her accomplishments as a successful attorney. A supportive, yet equal, marriage partner. A devoted mother. A person concerned with substantive issues.

Or, at the very least, that they not get into her underwear.

No doubt, embolden by our President of the United States' example of plunging into territory where no President of the United States to go befroe the press has decided also to plunge into territory they've never gone before, the First Lady's lingerie drawers. As the photo so clearly shows the First Lady has decided to go without underthings. Ending the discussion of what's she's got behind her skirts, so to speak. But can a First Lady really go without underthings? She is expected to accompany her husband overseas to Italy in June and he has thrown a wrench into her latest fashion (out)rage. The President is a rabid anti-Catholic* yet he has requested a private meeting with the Pope. If the Pope grants his wish, the First Lady will be expected to accompany him. Will the First Lady really have courage to go commando in the presence of the Pope?

This First Lady didn't:

Instead, Carla Bruni, the former supermodel, wore tight-fitting underclothes to make sure the cameras would catch them. This sartorial slip is not a slip but a brilliant PR move by France's First Lady. With one snap of a camera, she set all the French Catholic faithful minds' at perfect ease. She respects the Pope enough to not go commando. She is a First Lady who really is concerned with more "substantive issues".

My hat is off to her.

As for our First Lady and the Pope, if they do happen to meet, now you know where to keep your attention really focused.

*A president who tries to appoint 3 pro-abortion people to the post of U.S. Ambassador to the Vatican and has caused the greatest scandal at a Catholic University since the English Reformation, has earned the description of "anti-Catholic".