Obama and Pelosi Girl

..

Poet's Coroner

Mr. Peperium

 

(Set to The Walrus and The Carpenter)

 The polls were sinking rapidly,

The country moving Right;

The Press reported all was well

And tried to keep things light—

And this was scarcely odd because

In fact they weren’t that bright.

 

The Libs were pouting sulkily

Because they could not take

The Hope/Change bumper stickers off

Their Beemers. “It would make

The people think we thought we’d made

Some horrible mistake!”

 

The Gulf was oily as could be,

The rigs were all shut down

You could not see a fishing boat

Because none were around

(Because the hole had not been plugged

So no fish could be found).

 

Obama and Pelosi Girl

Were walking hand in hand

They wept like anything to see

A mess they hadn’t planned.

“If people blamed this all on Bush”

They said, “we’d understand.”

 

“If Cap and Trade were passed today

Like Health Care was rammed through,

Do you suppose,” Obama said,

“For us the polls would skew?”

Pelosi Girl said nothing but,

“I blame this all on you.”

 

“O Wackos, come and walk with us!”

Obama did beseech.

“A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,

On BP’s sludgy beach;

Now where’s my teleprompter gone?

I’m going to make a speech.”

 

The older Wackos looked at him,

“Close Gitmo” ’s all they said.

The older Wackos painted signs:

“Kill Bush” is how they read.

The eldest Wacko didn’t look

At all ‘cause he was dead.

 

But four young Wackos hurried up,

All eager for the show;

Their carbon credits up to date,

Their thinking rather slow.

And this was odd because they went

To schools with names you know.

 

Four other Wackos hurried up

And then another four

And thick and fast they came at last,

Rich, middle class and poor,

In hopes no one would ever call

Them racists anymore.

 

Obama and Pelosi Girl

Walked on a mile or so

Until they found a talking point

Appropriately low—

And all the little Wackos stood

And waited in a row.

 

 “The time has come” Obama said,

“To ration health care now:

Your mom and dad will get a pill—

Or bullet. We’ll allow

The young and strong, like you, to live

‘Long as you scrape and bow.”

 

“That sounds divine,” the Wackos said,

“That means we’ll get control

Of mum and dad’s estates before

They go and blow their roll.

With grad school, drugs and therapy

We’re kind of in a hole.”

 

“We’re taxing that,” Obama said,

“It’s what our plans require.

And from this moment everyone

Makes so much—nothing higher.

“Well, that sounds fair,” Pelosi said.

“Now no one can retire.”

 

“Not even us?” The Wackos cried,

Turning a little red.

“With all that Hope & Change and stuff

Rushing to our head

We thought you’d redistribute cash

From other guys instead!”

 

Obama said, “Did you not vote

For Hope and Change and stuff?

I doubt that would’ve worked so well

Had you not studied fluff.

But history has never been

Your subject. Man, that’s rough.”

 

“It seems a shame,” Pelosi said,

“To play each one a fool.

To have them all abort their kids

And make nice with Abdul

And question all authority—

Except, of course, our rule.”

 

“I weep for them,” Obama said,

“I’ll set up some relief”

Speaking thickly in between

Two slabs of Kobe beef.

“Another stimulus, perhaps,

Or would that strain belief?”

 

“O Wackos,” cried Pelosi Girl

“We’ve had a pleasant run!

And now it’s time to double down!”

But answer came there none—

And this was scarcely odd because

Republicans had won.

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Father M.]

Brilliant, Mr. P!

[Mr. Peperium]

Thank you, Father. Once it got going it was kind of hard to stop.

[Father M.]

There's a poem about Chappaquiddick that my father had and I've been looking for it for years since he died. Sometimes a good meter is the best skewer.